Don’t make praying such a hard task! Here is an easy, simplified way to have a conversation with God. It’s 4 easy steps. It can be done at any time and any place.
The last few years I’ve had the honor of facilitating and coaching the Rooted Program at my church. Each session, I get asked the same questions over and over again. And I feel and see the angst in their faces when they ask me…
How do I pray? I’m nervous. I don’t know what to say. Am I praying wrong?
First off, the most important answer is you are not doing it wrong. If you are praying to God you are further along than many others who are struggling out there.
Praying is simply you talking to God.
But I do share that praying is literally just talking to God. No one knows you better than him. There’s no reason to pretend when you pray. It’s a time to relax, be yourself, open up, and be vulnerable. Just let it all out. The good and the bad. The silly and the tragic.
Talk to Him the way you talk with others.
It’s important to talk to Him the same way you would share your deepest hurt with a therapist. Talk to him the same way you would share your greatest achievements with a best friend. And always, talk to him with love stronger than you can even imagine.
Length of your prayer isn’t important. It’s also ok if your conversation (prayer) is super short because you only have 90 seconds left while sitting in the school pick-up line, in an empty car, before the kids hop in. Or you may ramble on about so many things on your mind, clearing your head before bed. The length of your conversation (prayer) doesn’t matter.
What matters in a prayer is honesty, open communication, and love between you and God.
Talk to him daily if you can. Even though length and vocabulary don’t really matter, you need to try to talk to him (pray) every day. Your relationship with your spouse would not thrive if you only spoke to him on Sundays. Your connection with your kids won’t become easier if you only speak with them every few days. So the same way you enrich and nourish your relationships in this world, do so with God. A marriage will fail if you are hiding stuff from each other. If you’re lying to each other, your relationship will most likely end. If you don’t take time to sit and just listen to your kids, and be there with them, you won’t grow a solid connection with them. Do you see the identical qualities necessary in all relationships?
This is all the same for your relationship with God. I’m in a bible study with some absolutely incredible women. We are currently reading Battlefield of the Mind. The author completely agrees with the fact that your prayers with God are your relationship with him. “It is fellowship, friendship, and an opportunity to express gratitude for all that God is and does.” She also states that to have an effective prayer life, you in essence must put effort into developing a strong personal relationship with him. These go hand in hand. Prayers with God and your relationship with God.
So listen carefully. “Know that He loves you, that He is full of mercy, that He will help you… He is your friend. He died for you… He is with you all the time… [so] let Him help you.”
What matters in a prayer is honesty, open communication, and love between you and God. The acronym P.R.A.Y. is a handy tool to learn to pray.
In our church class we teach a very simplistic, yet very efficient way to talk with God. The acronym is P.R.A.Y.
The P stands for praise. Start out your prayer with praise to God for all he has done and continues to do for you. Think of the big and the little things you are grateful for. The fact that your 2 year old ate their broccoli at dinner without a single tear tonight. Or maybe you were able to bite your tongue at work when a coworker was being rude and upset instead of chewing him out. Maybe it’s that you have heat and electricity back on in your house. Or maybe you recovered super quick after that last bout of flu you had. Whatever it may be, thank Him!
The R stands for repent. Yes, I know this can be scary and uncomfortable, but remember, God knows you better than you know yourself. So just open up and let it all out. Ask for forgiveness for all the bad you have done. Maybe you yelled just a little too much at your child this morning as you were getting them off to school. Maybe you had a ridiculous argument with your husband and you know you should have stopped pushing his buttons. Or maybe you stayed up too late watching a meaningless show which means you hardly got any sleep, and you woke up negative and frustrated. Whatever you need to ask forgiveness for, now is the time.
The A stands for ask. Ask God for what you need, and for the needs of others. No this is not selfish. This is sharing with God important things that you know you can’t take care of on your own. We need Him. He created it this way. He wants us to depend on him. So ask for help. Is it for your parent’s health to get better? Or for a struggling relationship to heal. Or what about giving you patience as you wait to hear about that job promotion you really want. And maybe it’s even asking for that beautiful new couch you saw in an ad yesterday. Go ahead, ask him.
The Y stands for yield. The definition of yield is to ‘give up’ ‘cease’ ‘give the right of way’ ‘allow the other person to speak.’ Hey guess what, that is what is next in your prayer. Just sitting. Not talking. You already thanked Him. You already shared things you weren’t happy about. You asked Him for help. Now it’s time to let Him connect with you. I’m not saying you’re going to hear this magical deep, soothing, voice tell you everything you want to hear. But you might be surprised what thoughts He puts in your head while you are quiet. Or what answers you ‘coincidentally’ come up with while you are listening. A huge part of an amazing connection between two people is the ability for both of you to listen to each other. So at the end of your prayer, do just that, be quiet and listen to Him.
That’s it you guys. P.R.A.Y. Don’t make this hard. It doesn’t matter if you say the wrong word or use a phrase in the wrong way. It doesn’t matter how big your vocabulary is. It doesn’t matter if you can’t stop laughing about something. It doesn’t matter if you have tears and snot falling down your face. It’s about just being you and talking with Him. It also doesn’t have to be on your knees at the side of your bed. Or only in a church pew. Next time you are driving in a quiet car, or sipping your delicious morning coffee, or maybe even while you are standing at the kitchen sink doing dishes. Think of the word PRAY and talk to Him. And just like anything else, the more you do this, the easier it will become. You will soon be so comfortable praying with God, that before you know it, you will be chatting Him up all throughout your day!
