Have you noticed that when you’re in a crowd of happy people, you tend to feel happy? What about being in a room with negative people? How does that make you feel? You’ve heard the phrase “laughter is contagious”. And you or someone you know may be a sympathetic crier. It’s real.
There is a scientific phenomenon called Emotional Contagion. Have you heard of this? You might not have, but I guarantee you’ve experienced it. We all do. Our emotions are thought to be just as contagious as germs. Yikes hey? Well, in order to stop the spread of negativity, you have to stop it in its tracks. That is much easier said than done. But let’s talk about it.
There are lots of suggestions out there on how to keep your spirits up. For example, spouses may tell each other to keep work at work, especially when it’s bringing anger or sadness into the house. Or you may have heard people say, ‘check your attitude at the door’. Meaning, if you are upset about something, leave it outside, cuz we only want positive emotions in the house.
To begin with, you have to be able to recognize when you are in a ‘contagious’ situation. You have to know what emotion is being spread and if it’s something you want to ‘catch’ or not. When a friend is hurt or sad, or just venting about something negative, it’s ok to validate them, comfort them, and maybe just sit and listen to them. BUT, it’s not ok to let it upset you so much that you are now negative and spreading those bad emotions yourself. The more emotionally connected you are to this person, the easier it is to ‘catch’ their emotion. The hard part is to not let it affect you and then switch it around.
You may be thinking, well how in the heck can I stop it from affecting me? There are a few tips and tricks.
- Simply stop and breathe. Understand the situation, and let it register that the negativity in front of you is contagious. Sometimes you cannot see it unless you first stop and breathe so you can become more aware. Then act accordingly so you don’t ‘catch’ the negative emotion. I know it sounds silly, but when you stop, breathe, and realize the negative emotions around you, you can head to the bathroom, and wash your hands of it all. Yes, I mean literally wash-your-hands of it and let all those negative emotions go right down the drain.
- Find a way to smile. Smiling is just as contagious as any other emotion. So put on a big smile, bringing your own contagious element to the conversation. When others see you smiling, it can spread to them and to others. Especially if you are putting out a full fledged true smile when you are thinking about something you are really happy about.
- Pay attention to your own emotions. What emotions do you allow in your mind and heart, the majority of the time? Are you in positive environments? Are you listening to positive podcasts? What about the books you are reading? And the movies you are watching? Are they all filled with positive, happy emotions? The more good emotions you fill your body and mind with, the easier it is to acknowledge the bad emotions and push them back out. Don’t forget that you spread emotions as well, be sure you are spreading joy and kindness!
- Be straightforward. It’s actually healthier for the person struggling for you to listen and acknowledge their frustrations, and then physically turn the conversation around. They will feel better if they ‘catch’ your positive emotions and use it in place of their negativity.
- Know yourself and your boundaries. It’s perfectly ok to remove yourself from a negative situation. Or politely leave a negative conversation. It’s also important to realize that there are some people who are just plain negative and angry, all the time. Put up a healthy boundary for yourself and break off that relationship. Or at least limit your time with that person if you can’t completely end it.
Of course I don’t want to excuse the ones who are really stuck right now. Struggling to feel happy about anything or anyone. If you know someone who needs medical help, please reach out to them and try to help if you can. The other thing is to always force yourself to only bring positive emotions into the room when you are with them. Don’t bring your hurt and anger and combine it with their negativity. It will all only fester.
The more expressive you are, the easier it is for someone else to catch your emotion, or mimic it. Remember when you were in middle school and how easy it was to get sucked into those conversations where all the girls were just gossiping about others, talking bad things about them? And remember when you were young, during a sleepover and some of the girls kept laughing, and then all of a sudden you all are laughing and you can’t stop. And maybe you don’t even know what was funny, but you’re still laughing. What about when the one kid got yelled at by a teacher in your classroom? Did everyone stay quiet and hush up and maybe even feel bad or sad that the kid got in trouble? It’s because emotions are contagious.
The quote I chose to reflect on for this is “Don’t let anyone ever steal your joy!” Feeling happy and laughing, and even more so, feeling JOY is powerful. You should strive to feel joyful each and every day. If you don’t, look for things you can change in your life, that will allow you that joyful feeling. And when you are feeling JOY, and you come across someone negative, do not let them steal your joy!
Right now I have been reading a page a day, live in a reel, from the book “Find Your Happy”. Be sure to click on my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/JenGieraRLL so you can listen in each day and find your own happiness.
